Gotta bring it back

Have you ever just stopped and said, "Now what?"  "Now what?" about any part or all of your life, just "Now what?"  What comes next?  What's the next milestone?  Where is life going to take me now?  Life is going to take me somewhere...right?

In another time in my life, actually what seems like another life altogether, I wouldn't have even cared what was next...I would have just had my bags packed and ready.  But now in my new life there has to be plans and steps or something guiding me in someway...I just feel lost somedays, like I am wandering in a very brightly lit hallway with lots of doors but no signs to tell me where they go...almost like a hospital with no exit signs...I am just aimlessly walking the halls, afraid to open doors because I might walk in on another patient.  Nothing guiding me forward or showing me where I have been, just an empty hallway.  And I feel trapped by this.  I feel trapped because I feel like I HAVE to know where I am going and what my options are behind the doors. As if I need to be led, or scheduled.

Part of me yearns for the simpler more carefree days when it didn't matter what was ahead...nobody asking me what my plans were...I was just living.  I was free to be me, whoever that was.  Sometimes I don't feel like I even know that girl anymore...But I am sure she is here with me somewhere, hoping to be pulled to the forefront again...hoping for her chance at life again...I hate that I have forced that part of me to the shadows, to the dark corners of rooms left unopened in my head and heart for who knows how long.  Keyed in by this person I have become that HAS to know what lies ahead...Who do I think I am to lock up the living part of who I am?  The part of me that made me adventurous and carefree?  The part of me who formed me into me. 

I'm sick of it for her...I am taking charge of it...for her...and I am letting go of it all...for her.  I am ready to live the life I was put here to live and she is going to be here to live it with me. Welcome back to the world Breezy Dawn.

Have a GOODloe Day!

Fall Favorites..

I love the fall… the trees are changing, the air is cool, my electric bill is super low…I mean seriously low. This time of year is my favorite time of year. While I enjoy the summer because I like the outdoors, it’s often so flipping hot you can’t enjoy it a good deal of the time… and it’s better than spring because there isn’t as much wind and its coming up on winter which is a little too cold.


Fall is the start of the holiday season with family and friends making their rounds to all of the Thanksgiving spreads. And families lining up at Sears for Christmas photos for their greeting cards, and thre are of course the holiday sales…yippee!…I just love it all…People just seem happier this time of year. All good things!

Plus there is all the food! People cook more this time of year which is good for the eater in me… everything from grandma’s renowned cookies and fresh fudge to turkey and ham and green bean casserole…wow, my mouth just started watering. As much as I love the steaks and burgers and hot dogs of summer, there’s just something about a homemade pot pie or fresh made green chile chicken casserole straight from the oven that can just send me right into cool weather heaven. It’s like food just becomes more rich and savory when the weather gets cool…ok, I have to quit talking about food or I am going to have to quit writing and take a snack break. Chicken Alfredo, prime rib, dressing…now I’m done.

But seriously my favorite part of this season are the low electric bills… kidding, it’s the togetherness with the ones we care about. The sit down meals together, the football tailgates, the snuggling on the couch, the ski trips, the Christmas parties, the shopping and then going to Ruth’s for a burger, and just chatting about the day with the people you missed all day. The holidays just come once a year and are gone in a blink and for some they are the only time they get with their families. If you have no time to stop and smell the roses all year, you need to stop and smell the pine trees during this time of year…you won’t regret it.

The last day of fall is December 20th…so enjoy the season while it lasts…I know I will!

Have a GOODloe Day!

Mr. Right

We love, we lose and we ultimately should learn from it, right? So why is it that we often are drawn to the same type of people over and over? It’s weird because you hear yourself say “they aren’t my type,” but “Hello Mcfly!” If your type was right for you don’t you think you would have nailed it down by now?! And I keep saying you because I am in denial. I don’t want to admit to you or myself that I have been doing this… I am for some reason unknown to me, attracted to men who are completely wrong for me… and I sit and wonder why. There are good guys available(right?), I mean surely it’s not true that they really are all gay or married, because that really stinks if that’s true… But is it that there is just ONE special person made for each of us like some believe or could it be possible that a number of people be right for you if the circumstances are right and the relationship is nurtured? I wish I knew…because while I try to be an optimistic person, I don’t know that looking for a needle in a haystack is really my cup of tea… And I am one of those few people out there who really and truly believes that marriage is FOREVER and you have to work at it…so then I find my needle and what if he doesn’t believe like that?! Or does him being my needle automatically mean that he and I will share that belief? I dunno…see…so much to think about…


And so there we go getting back on the relationship merry go round…the same one we always get on and jump off at the same time looking for the same old thing…or should we choose to cross the monkey bars instead and see what’s on the other side waiting for us?! Maybe it’s just the other side of the same old park, or maybe it’s exactly what we have been searching for.

All I am saying is give it atleast a shot..no hurt in trying...the guy from left field might be the wind beneath your wings, and if not eh well, maybe he is just the wind under your kite and he will blow it up onto a power line and you will have to call a handsome service man to get it free...heehee.. Just messing...give it a real shot.

Have a GOODloe Day!

Woke up..

Have you ever felt like you were “waking up” in your life….I mean like you had kind of been just going through motions of work, and family, and life in general and you really don’t know how long you were out of it?

Well in the last week or so I feel like I have awakened from a deep sleep. Like that I went to lie down on the couch to watch TV and am finally getting up after months of snoozing. It’s an odd feeling…I am turning 26 in a few weeks, and am like, wow... How did that happen? This year flew by. I think that’s how I became so aware that I was out of it for a while.

So when that happens…when you feel like you have lost some time…It makes it all the more important to make the rest of your time more meaningful (more smiles, laughs, and kisses, etc.) And be true to YOU… I think that is one the biggest things…Our time is pretty short. Yea, 100 years seems like a long time, but when you think back on all that’s happened in America’s history and all the great explorers in history and before that through the Conquests, and plagues of Egypt, and the flood, and all the way back to Adam…our 100 years here is but a breath. We have just a short passing time here to show who we are, so why be someone else?

I remember one time I wore a pink and white “cowgirl” type skirt and some boots…I loved that skirt and those boots…and I only wore them to class once because people made fun of me…and still today I sometimes think of that day because I loved that outfit and I felt like me in it…So don’t let what others say about you or to you change who you are or what you want to make of yourself. If you want to rock some cowboy boots…rock ‘em! And just ignore what others have to say about it…we only have a short time here so we should enjoy it, and really, what should it matter to anybody else what you wear? I am at a point where there is no room in my life for things that bring me down…if it isn’t illegal or against my morals and brings a smile to my face, it’s probably worth it. So if you catch me in some off the wall outfit or something, keep your comments to yourself… I’m doing what works for me and God, so thank you, but frankly, what you think of my boots doesn’t matter to me.

Have a GOODloe Day!

Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance

I have been thinking a lot about life, love and moving on in the last few weeks. And I keep coming back to a few words from a song that a friend told me to listen to when I was going thru troubles last year. Just over a year ago I was split up from my boyfriend at the time and my friend D (protecting the innocent) and his girlfriend were having a hard time and he introduced me to the song Second Chance by Shinedown. At the time it didn’t hit me what those words meant because I was so set on us getting back together, which we did, and it wasn’t until after our official end it all break off in October that those words started really meaning something. Actually, it wasn’t until much after that that they really started meaning something but break ups take time to heal and transform us.

I have started thinking about all the really significant breakups I have had. I think I have had three that really took a toll on my heart…bet you little former breakers of my heart are wondering if you made the cut, lol, sorry not telling you who! They were the relationships that really formed my opinions of what I want and don’t want in my future mate and that with each of them breaking my heart; it was a new start for me…a Second Chance. Some of them pulverized my heart repeatedly in some cases, and I loved them so much that I just kept going in for seconds and thirds and fourths. And I remember when I was younger I heard an adage and I believed it then, “Those who make you cry aren’t worth your tears and those who are, won’t make you cry.” What a crock. People make mistakes. The people we love and love us will hurt you, not necessarily intentionally but it will happen, and believing that they won’t is setting yourself up for hurt.

As much as I hate break ups, the best part about them is that it just means that God is setting up something better for you. Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance for God to say, "See I let you have the reigns last time and look where it got you…now sit back and let me give you what I have in store for you."…It’s going to be a pretty sweet deal if you will just wait on it, just wait on Him.

Switching gears slightly…I have thought about the times that I have left what was comfortable to do what I thought was right for me. And you know what…it’s not always easy but you have to take chances in life or you are going to look up when you are 70 and say what happened to my life? Sometimes you have to say Goodbye to the easy things, to things that keep you in your rut. Second chances are awesome and you never know where they will take you . I’m not saying quit your job in the middle of a recession, but look at your life and consider what is working and what isn’t and what you really WANT… are your wants lining up with what’s working or are you just doing what’s working because you have always done it? Stop settling…take charge of your life, we only get one, but if we handle it right you can get a Second Chance, but not if you wait too long.

Love God, Love Others, Love Yourself…

Have a GOODloe Day!

Master's Hand

Today’s blog is a little deeper than others and I must add that I stole the basic idea from another blogger because his blog brought me near to tears so I thought I would kind of give my little take on it because it was really worth the read for me, so maybe it will be for you. So, thank you Rick Kraft for your words, and now here are mine…

Before you read the following poem by Myra Brooks Welch and my words to follow, I want you to think about something…If you were put up on an auction block right now, how much do you think you would go for?

It was battered and scarred, And the auctioneer thought it Hardly worth his while To waste his time on the old violin, But he held it up with a smile. "What am I bid, good people", he cried, "Who starts the bidding for me?" "One dollar, one dollar, Do I hear two?" "Two dollars, who makes it three?" "Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three",
But, No, From the room far back a grey haired man Came forward and picked up the bow, Then wiping the dust from the old violin And tightening up the strings, He played a melody, pure and sweet, As sweet as the angel sings.
The music ceased and the auctioneer With a voice that was quiet and low, Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?" As he held it aloft with its' bow. "One thousand, one thousand, Do I hear two?" "Two thousand, Who makes it three?" "Three thousand once, three thousand twice, Going and gone", said he.
The audience cheered, But some of them cried, "We just don't understand." "What changed its' worth?" Swift came the reply. "The Touch of the Masters Hand."
And many a man with life out of tune, All battered with bourbon and gin, Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd Much like that old violin. A mess of pottage, a glass of wine, A game and he travels on. He is going once, he is going twice, He is going and almost gone. But the Master comes, And the foolish crowd never can quite understand, The worth of a soul and the change that is wrought By the Touch of the Master's Hand.

Now think about that question again. Did you value yourself high or low…or somewhere in between? Would you consider yourself the precious, rare find at auction, or the worn out scraps that people shouldn't be wasting their time on?

I’ll admit that at times I am really hard on myself and feel my worth is little and that nobody would want me…but truth is I am a masterpiece created to be valued and cherished. We are our own worst critics lots of times, but the thing is that we are just out of tune and need our Master to dust us off and tweak us and make our beauty be seen. We make mistakes and fall but that doesn’t mean we lose our value in our Master’s eyes. We just need to learn to live our lives as best we can and try to make the best music we can to please Him.

Love God, Love Others and Love Yourself....

Have a GOODloe Day!

I thank God I am American!

It's America's birthday and one of my very favorite holidays. It's the day that we can celebrate our freedom and our lives as Americans.

We truly are lucky people. I know there are people who came here from other countries and want to celebrate "their roots" by flying flags of other colors over our lands, but I find it very disrespectful. Have them in your house if you want, but you came here for a reason, so celebrate the freedoms you have here..that is if you are here legally (but I am not going there with this one, I am talking to my American Brothers and Sisters in this one.)

I love my country so much. I love that I can worship God, can own a gun, can elect officials, that I have amazing people fighting for me day and night, can own property, build my own wealth...the list is endless...while some of these are challenged on occasion, I have an amazing thing called the Constitution on which I believe that if we continue to turn to it my rights will continue to stand. So many nations, so many people, around the world don't have the things, the rights and freedoms that we take for granted everyday. Like when your family stops to say grace at the restaurant..in some countries you would be killed for honoring God.

I read something this morning about the pledge and whether we really think about the words when we read it...Do you? Do the words mean something to you? Or when you sing The Star Spangled Banner, is it just the precursor to the booze and ball game...or is it a salute to the men and women who have fallen and your allegiance to a country that you can truly live free? When I here patriotic songs I get fired...like truly fired up. I get teary eyed, and I think about my friends over seas, and people I don't even know...and the fact that they are there so I can sit and enjoy this song on the radio around a fire with a group of friends. Freedom isn't free and that's why this 234th American Birthday is just as important as the first one, because the great names of our beginning: Washington, Adams, Franklin, Jefferson, Paine, would want us to revere our freedom. The stands they made for our country made us who we are. They wanted freedom so bad, they committed treason...how bad do you cherish your freedom?

Next time you stand for the pledge, stand up straight, hand over your heart, and say it like you mean it. Think about each word: "I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." because there have been thousands of people who have given their lives for you say every word of that pledge.

I love my United States of America and the God who I pray continues to watch over her. God Bless the USA...And Happy Fourth of July! LET FREEDOM RING!!!

Have a GOODloe Day!