SSgt Jeremie S. Border... R.I.P.

Ok...I think I have finally gotten to a place that I can talk about Border's death without falling apart...Here goes... Border give me strength... SSGT. Jeremie S. Border was a man among men. You were the man who no matter what obstacle stood in your path, your shoulders were broad and your voice firm. You loved your family more than any other and to every body around you it was known. You were not cowardice, prejudice, or any other means weak... You were as strong as any person I have ever known. You were the one thing that made sense for so many months..years... You were my best friend, my shelter from the hard, cruel realty, my safe place.... I loved you on a level that can not be reginerated.. You called me "love".. and I now realize that I was taking for granted all the times I repayed that gesture. I took for granted how much we loved each other...I loved you more than you will ever know, and that's my fault... I had every oppportunity to tell you that you were amazing, that you were the best friend I ever I had, that I truly loved you....Jeremie Shane Border... You helped me become who I am today and I am a lesser person today because you are not here.... I love you more than you will ever know. You would be so honored by the send off that Mesquite gave to you...I will tell you that as the emotional girl you know me to be, I lost it as I saw the respect and love they showed you, Border... Border, they all but closed down the world for You!!! I fell apart driving... Honestly, I almost rear-ended the guy in front of me...you truly got a heroes send off like you deserved and like I couldn't imagine... Only, I keep imagining it's someone else...because surely, the person I told everything, the person I loved like my brother, the person I felt was my soul mate ....why you???.......... ok..I'm ok... they stopped incomming traffic from disturbing the procession... and It seriously was amazing, Love... They had emergency personnel stopped on every over pass and saluting... I called my mom because I couldn't handle it... You would have been the one I would have called, that was the hardest part. I wanted, needed you and you weren't there ...That was honestly the hardest funeral I've ever been to.. but you would know that... I love you my dear friend. I know that you are sitting up their with God with a smirk on your face, talking about what's next.... I bet you have your smile...I wish I could see your smile again. I love you, Border. Until I see you again my dear sweet friend.... And I think it's funny that you're probably laughing at me for "being a girl" for crying like I am. But I love you, Border. I miss you, Love. I just wanted you to know that you had a Heroes send off like you can't imagine, and the people down here miss your smile.... I love you Border.. Send me a nice guy Okay?! I love you...and miss you.

365 recap

So,lessons learned in the past year....

1. You can't make someone love you...it doesn't matter how much work you put into it, what you do, say,give them, or how many hours you put into trying to make them love you...they either will or won't and sometimes they just won't.

2. I am too competitive to enjoy golf. I want to enjoy it, I like the idea of golf, but when it comes down to it...I really think I just shouldn't play bc I just get mad. As goes with Monopoly(which I have come to truly hate, I think.)

3. Not all long distance relationships are created equal. It completely depends on the people in them and how much they like/care about/or want it to work with the other person.

4. Never keep an old flame burning. All an old flame will do is burn you...Put it out!

5. Working out really does make you feel better..but you actually have to show up for it.

6. You are going to make mistakes, but you will make more mistakes when you take the control from God in your life and do it your own way.

7. Sometimes you have to walk away from people you love to save your sanity.

8. Never let the opinions of others control your opinion of youself.

9. For every sixty seconds you spend upset, that's a whole minute of happiness you will never get back.

10. You can make yourself a better person if you work at it.. but its one thing that you have to do alone. It's not something others can make you do, so until you want to be better, its not going to happen.

Have a blessed New Year!

Have a GOODloe Year!