Ok, so here we are in 2011. My biggest 2011 goal is to not let others bring me down. I am doing whatever it takes this year to have more smiles and less tears. I am choosing who to be around by how they make me feel, sure it's tough at times to make a decision about spending time with someone you love, but if in the end it helps you to grow then I think it is necessary.
It's going to be a continual effort throughout the year...and it started already this past week. I have come to the realization that I have "friends" who aren't really friends at all. People who to my face tell me they love me, miss me, want to go to lunch, ya dee ya da... but they have a second face...one that would slight me without batting an eye. So will the real face please stand up? Or is everything a mask to these people? Do they even know who they are inside? (What would be interesting to know is how many of you right now are wondering if I am talking about you...if I found out about the deceit behind your eyes...no names are given, so keep wondering, but lucky for you I am a forgiving person.)
At first I was kind of hurt, I will admit. I let it get to me..a nag in the pit of my stomach that I really don't know who my friends are. But then like a sunrise on the horizon, I had a peace and I knew no matter what others do to me I am still me and can still be a good person to them. Whether they are being friend or fiend, or have one face or two doesn't matter...that doesn't change who I am and will be to them and the world.
This year I am going to work to be more real. I don't want to ever be someone who people can call two faced or say that I wear a mask. I am sure in my past I have done things that made people call me fake, or whatever, but I choose to be different. Each day we have a chance to be a new person. I am going to work to be more loving, accepting, kind hearted, respectful, and REAL and I want the people I love to help me be accountable in those goals.
Matt Damon once said, "It's better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody." Well Mr. Damon..I have to disagree...I will keep my real, nobody life and rock it! We are what we make of it and I plan to be the happiest one faced person this side of the Mississippi!
Have a GOODloe Day!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Into The Wind
How many nights have you laid awake thinking about things that were, could have been, things that you can’t change now, the past? How many times have you raised out of bed with the same fears, hurts, struggles that you went to bed with?
I am glad that I can’t really put a number to how many of those nights and mornings I can lay claim to because it is probably shamefully high. Last night I was laying in bed and it came crashing down on me that I have been holding onto hurts and looking back…and not letting myself move forward. We have one life to live and its but a breath in the grand scheme…and there is no room for looking back.
Today is crazy windy out in my part of the world and it brought about an embarrassing lesson for me…when I was walking forward the winds blew my hair back away from my face and I could see everything pretty clearly, I just had to squint my eyes a little but I could get through it…It wasn’t perfect and it wasn’t an easy walk in the park (if you will) but I knew where I was going and the path I was on… but then I couldn’t remember if I had locked my car so I looked back at my car and beeped the clicker and in just that time the wind whipped my hair in my face and as I tried to get the hair out of my eyes and mouth I walked into a brick wall. Comical to you, perhaps, but it hurt more than just my pride. But looking back at my car was like what we all do when we start thinking about our past. We take our minds off of what we are doing, what is ahead and what is most important. The wind was like all of the stuff that is constantly being thrown at us daily and just because you turn around to look at your car doesn’t mean it’s gonna stop blowing…but when you are walking into the wind your body adjusts to it and life isn’t so hectic, but stop and turn against it and you change the whole dynamic.
But whether you think it’s a good analogy of how focusing on the past can bite you or not, it made me start thinking.
Charles Kettering said “You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” I want to be the best I can be so why hold myself back by continually looking back at my hurts and let downs? No more.
Have a GOODloe Day and an even better New Year!
I am glad that I can’t really put a number to how many of those nights and mornings I can lay claim to because it is probably shamefully high. Last night I was laying in bed and it came crashing down on me that I have been holding onto hurts and looking back…and not letting myself move forward. We have one life to live and its but a breath in the grand scheme…and there is no room for looking back.
Today is crazy windy out in my part of the world and it brought about an embarrassing lesson for me…when I was walking forward the winds blew my hair back away from my face and I could see everything pretty clearly, I just had to squint my eyes a little but I could get through it…It wasn’t perfect and it wasn’t an easy walk in the park (if you will) but I knew where I was going and the path I was on… but then I couldn’t remember if I had locked my car so I looked back at my car and beeped the clicker and in just that time the wind whipped my hair in my face and as I tried to get the hair out of my eyes and mouth I walked into a brick wall. Comical to you, perhaps, but it hurt more than just my pride. But looking back at my car was like what we all do when we start thinking about our past. We take our minds off of what we are doing, what is ahead and what is most important. The wind was like all of the stuff that is constantly being thrown at us daily and just because you turn around to look at your car doesn’t mean it’s gonna stop blowing…but when you are walking into the wind your body adjusts to it and life isn’t so hectic, but stop and turn against it and you change the whole dynamic.
But whether you think it’s a good analogy of how focusing on the past can bite you or not, it made me start thinking.
Charles Kettering said “You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” I want to be the best I can be so why hold myself back by continually looking back at my hurts and let downs? No more.
Have a GOODloe Day and an even better New Year!
Monday, December 13, 2010
2010 Lessons
What have I learned this year? That was the question the radio station asked today…hmm…Well, let’s see…
1. You can never be thankful enough for the little things in life. We take things for granted. Up until this year I took walking for granted. For a couple of months this year I was in a wheel chair, and even since then a few times my movement has been limited, but by the grace of God and great family to help me through I am walking and won’t ever take it for granted again.
2. That brings me to my second thing: Family and Friends. I have learned this year that I have amazing people in my life. Family who will go great distances to make sure I am ok. Drive 1000’s of miles, pay hospital bills, arrange for hotel stays…you name it…I have had a family member do it for me this year. And friends…friends who kept my spirits high when I was near my lowest. Friends who made sure I was financially ok and emotionally ok…I am truly blessed.
3. I have learned that you sometimes have to take your walls down and open yourself up to be hurt if you really want to be loved…it’s just a chance worth taking.
4. I learned that you can never tell those around you that you love them nearly enough…you never know when tomorrow is your last tomorrow…. That this might be your last hug or kiss. We aren’t guaranteed another day, hour or minute… So let them know you miss them..love them..I promise there are a lot more people who regret that they didn’t say it enough than there are who said it too much.
5. You can let things in your past dictate who you are or you can take charge of your life and make something of yourself. Where you have come from following a bad experience or from your raising may not have been your fault but who you become is between you and God.
6. And I guess the last thing I have learned is that you have to forgive. I know that’s something that I “have known” for years but I don’t think it’s something I apply to my life as a daily thing like I should. If you don’t forgive like you should you are holding yourself back from gifts from God and from really knowing love. Forgiveness will totally change who you are, bring you a peace like you can’t believe.
So, 2010 is wrapping up and I have learned a few things, which is good. And what I have learned are life lessons that will carry me into 2011 and beyond and I am hoping that maybe they will help you a little in your evaluation of your life and year. I am thankful for you and for all of God’s blessings and for one more chance to tell you all I Love You.
Have a GOODloe Day!
1. You can never be thankful enough for the little things in life. We take things for granted. Up until this year I took walking for granted. For a couple of months this year I was in a wheel chair, and even since then a few times my movement has been limited, but by the grace of God and great family to help me through I am walking and won’t ever take it for granted again.
2. That brings me to my second thing: Family and Friends. I have learned this year that I have amazing people in my life. Family who will go great distances to make sure I am ok. Drive 1000’s of miles, pay hospital bills, arrange for hotel stays…you name it…I have had a family member do it for me this year. And friends…friends who kept my spirits high when I was near my lowest. Friends who made sure I was financially ok and emotionally ok…I am truly blessed.
3. I have learned that you sometimes have to take your walls down and open yourself up to be hurt if you really want to be loved…it’s just a chance worth taking.
4. I learned that you can never tell those around you that you love them nearly enough…you never know when tomorrow is your last tomorrow…. That this might be your last hug or kiss. We aren’t guaranteed another day, hour or minute… So let them know you miss them..love them..I promise there are a lot more people who regret that they didn’t say it enough than there are who said it too much.
5. You can let things in your past dictate who you are or you can take charge of your life and make something of yourself. Where you have come from following a bad experience or from your raising may not have been your fault but who you become is between you and God.
6. And I guess the last thing I have learned is that you have to forgive. I know that’s something that I “have known” for years but I don’t think it’s something I apply to my life as a daily thing like I should. If you don’t forgive like you should you are holding yourself back from gifts from God and from really knowing love. Forgiveness will totally change who you are, bring you a peace like you can’t believe.
So, 2010 is wrapping up and I have learned a few things, which is good. And what I have learned are life lessons that will carry me into 2011 and beyond and I am hoping that maybe they will help you a little in your evaluation of your life and year. I am thankful for you and for all of God’s blessings and for one more chance to tell you all I Love You.
Have a GOODloe Day!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Did you know???
Did you know that if you put a 26 year old law abiding citizen behind the wheel of a machine that can produce 300 horsepower its like a whole new person comes out? It takes me everything I can do to not speed in that car. Used to, speeding in the city happened on accident because I might not be paying attention, now speeding in the city might happen just because I put it into 2nd gear. It's crazy!! 8 cylinders is alot of power to control and I hope I learn to control it before I get busted...
Also, did you know that if you put a 26 year old woman in a Mustang GT at a stop light it apparently means she wants to race? I didn't know that buying this car meant that all of sudden everybody was going to try to race me and in case you are wondering...no, I am not racing...I am controlling that urge somehow...although I don't know how. Some of them are just no brainers...like seriously dude??? You really think your dropped 4 four banger, rice burning honda is gonna beat my car just because you put on a new spoiler and look over (not thru) your cool shades?? Really, it's dark outside, lose the sunglasses. And get a life because your car won't stand a chance. My car can do 0-60 in 4.9 seconds... so cut it out, I don't need the temptation and we both know I am gonna win anyway.
Third, did you know that if you are a 26 year old woman and tell men that you can handle a manual Mustang GT that atleast 7 out of 10 of them will light up and start talking power and cars with you? I didn't know that knowing how to drive a stick is apparently a skill that not a lot of girls know how to do. But go me I guess! I don't let myself get down about the 30% who don't get excited because they are probably city boys who have never learned how to drive one and feel outplayed by me...heehee...or atleast that's what I am going to start thinking now.
So here is the nitty gritty, bottom line of it all...My car is the first thing I have ever really done for me... I am single, no kids, and hopefully in a few years all of that will all change, but I wanted to do something for me in the mean time that I can enjoy and have fun with. When I start having kids I won't be able to have it so when is a better time than now to do what makes me happy? I will spend the rest of my life striving to please the man of life and my beautiful babies...but for now, I am going to let myself enjoy this me time, in my beautiful blue muscle car.
Also, did you know that if you put a 26 year old woman in a Mustang GT at a stop light it apparently means she wants to race? I didn't know that buying this car meant that all of sudden everybody was going to try to race me and in case you are wondering...no, I am not racing...I am controlling that urge somehow...although I don't know how. Some of them are just no brainers...like seriously dude??? You really think your dropped 4 four banger, rice burning honda is gonna beat my car just because you put on a new spoiler and look over (not thru) your cool shades?? Really, it's dark outside, lose the sunglasses. And get a life because your car won't stand a chance. My car can do 0-60 in 4.9 seconds... so cut it out, I don't need the temptation and we both know I am gonna win anyway.
Third, did you know that if you are a 26 year old woman and tell men that you can handle a manual Mustang GT that atleast 7 out of 10 of them will light up and start talking power and cars with you? I didn't know that knowing how to drive a stick is apparently a skill that not a lot of girls know how to do. But go me I guess! I don't let myself get down about the 30% who don't get excited because they are probably city boys who have never learned how to drive one and feel outplayed by me...heehee...or atleast that's what I am going to start thinking now.
So here is the nitty gritty, bottom line of it all...My car is the first thing I have ever really done for me... I am single, no kids, and hopefully in a few years all of that will all change, but I wanted to do something for me in the mean time that I can enjoy and have fun with. When I start having kids I won't be able to have it so when is a better time than now to do what makes me happy? I will spend the rest of my life striving to please the man of life and my beautiful babies...but for now, I am going to let myself enjoy this me time, in my beautiful blue muscle car.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Gotta bring it back
Have you ever just stopped and said, "Now what?" "Now what?" about any part or all of your life, just "Now what?" What comes next? What's the next milestone? Where is life going to take me now? Life is going to take me somewhere...right?
In another time in my life, actually what seems like another life altogether, I wouldn't have even cared what was next...I would have just had my bags packed and ready. But now in my new life there has to be plans and steps or something guiding me in someway...I just feel lost somedays, like I am wandering in a very brightly lit hallway with lots of doors but no signs to tell me where they go...almost like a hospital with no exit signs...I am just aimlessly walking the halls, afraid to open doors because I might walk in on another patient. Nothing guiding me forward or showing me where I have been, just an empty hallway. And I feel trapped by this. I feel trapped because I feel like I HAVE to know where I am going and what my options are behind the doors. As if I need to be led, or scheduled.
Part of me yearns for the simpler more carefree days when it didn't matter what was ahead...nobody asking me what my plans were...I was just living. I was free to be me, whoever that was. Sometimes I don't feel like I even know that girl anymore...But I am sure she is here with me somewhere, hoping to be pulled to the forefront again...hoping for her chance at life again...I hate that I have forced that part of me to the shadows, to the dark corners of rooms left unopened in my head and heart for who knows how long. Keyed in by this person I have become that HAS to know what lies ahead...Who do I think I am to lock up the living part of who I am? The part of me that made me adventurous and carefree? The part of me who formed me into me.
I'm sick of it for her...I am taking charge of it...for her...and I am letting go of it all...for her. I am ready to live the life I was put here to live and she is going to be here to live it with me. Welcome back to the world Breezy Dawn.
Have a GOODloe Day!
In another time in my life, actually what seems like another life altogether, I wouldn't have even cared what was next...I would have just had my bags packed and ready. But now in my new life there has to be plans and steps or something guiding me in someway...I just feel lost somedays, like I am wandering in a very brightly lit hallway with lots of doors but no signs to tell me where they go...almost like a hospital with no exit signs...I am just aimlessly walking the halls, afraid to open doors because I might walk in on another patient. Nothing guiding me forward or showing me where I have been, just an empty hallway. And I feel trapped by this. I feel trapped because I feel like I HAVE to know where I am going and what my options are behind the doors. As if I need to be led, or scheduled.
Part of me yearns for the simpler more carefree days when it didn't matter what was ahead...nobody asking me what my plans were...I was just living. I was free to be me, whoever that was. Sometimes I don't feel like I even know that girl anymore...But I am sure she is here with me somewhere, hoping to be pulled to the forefront again...hoping for her chance at life again...I hate that I have forced that part of me to the shadows, to the dark corners of rooms left unopened in my head and heart for who knows how long. Keyed in by this person I have become that HAS to know what lies ahead...Who do I think I am to lock up the living part of who I am? The part of me that made me adventurous and carefree? The part of me who formed me into me.
I'm sick of it for her...I am taking charge of it...for her...and I am letting go of it all...for her. I am ready to live the life I was put here to live and she is going to be here to live it with me. Welcome back to the world Breezy Dawn.
Have a GOODloe Day!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Fall Favorites..
I love the fall… the trees are changing, the air is cool, my electric bill is super low…I mean seriously low. This time of year is my favorite time of year. While I enjoy the summer because I like the outdoors, it’s often so flipping hot you can’t enjoy it a good deal of the time… and it’s better than spring because there isn’t as much wind and its coming up on winter which is a little too cold.
Fall is the start of the holiday season with family and friends making their rounds to all of the Thanksgiving spreads. And families lining up at Sears for Christmas photos for their greeting cards, and thre are of course the holiday sales…yippee!…I just love it all…People just seem happier this time of year. All good things!
Plus there is all the food! People cook more this time of year which is good for the eater in me… everything from grandma’s renowned cookies and fresh fudge to turkey and ham and green bean casserole…wow, my mouth just started watering. As much as I love the steaks and burgers and hot dogs of summer, there’s just something about a homemade pot pie or fresh made green chile chicken casserole straight from the oven that can just send me right into cool weather heaven. It’s like food just becomes more rich and savory when the weather gets cool…ok, I have to quit talking about food or I am going to have to quit writing and take a snack break. Chicken Alfredo, prime rib, dressing…now I’m done.
But seriously my favorite part of this season are the low electric bills… kidding, it’s the togetherness with the ones we care about. The sit down meals together, the football tailgates, the snuggling on the couch, the ski trips, the Christmas parties, the shopping and then going to Ruth’s for a burger, and just chatting about the day with the people you missed all day. The holidays just come once a year and are gone in a blink and for some they are the only time they get with their families. If you have no time to stop and smell the roses all year, you need to stop and smell the pine trees during this time of year…you won’t regret it.
The last day of fall is December 20th…so enjoy the season while it lasts…I know I will!
Have a GOODloe Day!
Fall is the start of the holiday season with family and friends making their rounds to all of the Thanksgiving spreads. And families lining up at Sears for Christmas photos for their greeting cards, and thre are of course the holiday sales…yippee!…I just love it all…People just seem happier this time of year. All good things!
Plus there is all the food! People cook more this time of year which is good for the eater in me… everything from grandma’s renowned cookies and fresh fudge to turkey and ham and green bean casserole…wow, my mouth just started watering. As much as I love the steaks and burgers and hot dogs of summer, there’s just something about a homemade pot pie or fresh made green chile chicken casserole straight from the oven that can just send me right into cool weather heaven. It’s like food just becomes more rich and savory when the weather gets cool…ok, I have to quit talking about food or I am going to have to quit writing and take a snack break. Chicken Alfredo, prime rib, dressing…now I’m done.
But seriously my favorite part of this season are the low electric bills… kidding, it’s the togetherness with the ones we care about. The sit down meals together, the football tailgates, the snuggling on the couch, the ski trips, the Christmas parties, the shopping and then going to Ruth’s for a burger, and just chatting about the day with the people you missed all day. The holidays just come once a year and are gone in a blink and for some they are the only time they get with their families. If you have no time to stop and smell the roses all year, you need to stop and smell the pine trees during this time of year…you won’t regret it.
The last day of fall is December 20th…so enjoy the season while it lasts…I know I will!
Have a GOODloe Day!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Mr. Right
We love, we lose and we ultimately should learn from it, right? So why is it that we often are drawn to the same type of people over and over? It’s weird because you hear yourself say “they aren’t my type,” but “Hello Mcfly!” If your type was right for you don’t you think you would have nailed it down by now?! And I keep saying you because I am in denial. I don’t want to admit to you or myself that I have been doing this… I am for some reason unknown to me, attracted to men who are completely wrong for me… and I sit and wonder why. There are good guys available(right?), I mean surely it’s not true that they really are all gay or married, because that really stinks if that’s true… But is it that there is just ONE special person made for each of us like some believe or could it be possible that a number of people be right for you if the circumstances are right and the relationship is nurtured? I wish I knew…because while I try to be an optimistic person, I don’t know that looking for a needle in a haystack is really my cup of tea… And I am one of those few people out there who really and truly believes that marriage is FOREVER and you have to work at it…so then I find my needle and what if he doesn’t believe like that?! Or does him being my needle automatically mean that he and I will share that belief? I dunno…see…so much to think about…
And so there we go getting back on the relationship merry go round…the same one we always get on and jump off at the same time looking for the same old thing…or should we choose to cross the monkey bars instead and see what’s on the other side waiting for us?! Maybe it’s just the other side of the same old park, or maybe it’s exactly what we have been searching for.
All I am saying is give it atleast a shot..no hurt in trying...the guy from left field might be the wind beneath your wings, and if not eh well, maybe he is just the wind under your kite and he will blow it up onto a power line and you will have to call a handsome service man to get it free...heehee.. Just messing...give it a real shot.
Have a GOODloe Day!
And so there we go getting back on the relationship merry go round…the same one we always get on and jump off at the same time looking for the same old thing…or should we choose to cross the monkey bars instead and see what’s on the other side waiting for us?! Maybe it’s just the other side of the same old park, or maybe it’s exactly what we have been searching for.
All I am saying is give it atleast a shot..no hurt in trying...the guy from left field might be the wind beneath your wings, and if not eh well, maybe he is just the wind under your kite and he will blow it up onto a power line and you will have to call a handsome service man to get it free...heehee.. Just messing...give it a real shot.
Have a GOODloe Day!
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